Kinky Sex – What is it?
Let’s have a chat about kinky sex it’s something a lot of people are curious about but aren’t always going to go there so the purpose of this talk is to essentially demystify kink so that you know more about it and if you choose to go ahead and play around with it a little bit you know how to do it so it’s fun safe and enjoyable
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So what is kinky sex?
Well it’s generally what’s referred to as BDSM, that is bondage discipline and sadomasochism so it’s all about playing around the
edges of pleasure and pain they’re quite similar physiologically you can get some quite exquisite sensations when you’re around the border, and it’s also playing with dominance and Submission. Around that, you have games to do with slaves and masters and it also extends into exhibitionism voyeurism that’s wanting to show yourself or wanting to be seen.
Also if you are into clothes, a lot of clothes have fetish appeals such as leather or latex or my favourite corsets and if you play around with some of this stuff you can reach levels of sexual arousal that you may not have in more standard types of sexual activity.
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I find it quite interesting because I’ve researched the kinky scene as well as tantric sex and often, the experiences that people have are quite similar in that heightened transcendent sensation that you can get sexually the reason for this I believe is that because in both styles of sexual activity, there are two important things one is that you become very present it enables you to be present in your mind and to switch off your brain.
Here’s what happens when you are dressed in certain ways or if you’re restrained or just in the anticipation of you’re not quite sure what which is similar to what you can get through the more meditative aspects.
So the presentation is important and the other thing is just letting go and just surrendering to the experience so if you set the kinky play scene up
correctly then you really can just let go and in that letting go and that’s surrendering to the experience whether you’re dominant or the submissive
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You can really allow the sensation to flow.
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so how do you do it in a way that’s not too scary and that makes you feel safe and allows you to have these sorts of experiences?
well, safety is very important and this is the difference between activities that are consensual and pleasurable and ones that aren’t because some of the things people get up to in this kind of play if it wasn’t consensual would be highly illegal and I’m certainly not encouraging anything that is illegal or that doesn’t involve mutual enjoyment and pleasure.
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So people who get into the really kinky stuff they’ll often actually set the entire scene before they even get started so they know exactly what’s going to happen.
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People are often concerned when it comes down to any of this S&M; type of activity that it’s very derogatory or demeaning to the submissive one at the bottom to use the correct terminology as opposed to being the top but what you need to know and understand for this to work is that in fact, it’s the bottom the so-called submissive one who’s actually in control.
They’re the ones who set the parameters around what’s possible okay never do anything that the bottom doesn’t want to enjoy so it’s things like making sure that there is a safe word and that’s a word that you can use for either of you to show if you don’t want to go on with the activity.
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So it needs to be a word that you wouldn’t normally use so no, no stop is not going to work because that could be part of the play it needs to be something more like strawberry or Toronto something unique that will let the partner know you definitely want to stop play. You can check out the chaturbate Mistress ideas for kink & Taboo
Always Make sure the kinky Roleplay is within each other’s boundaries and limits
The activity has a nice feel or makes sure you’re both feeling okay so it’s important too that you know kind of what you’re going to do and you know that you can stop whenever you want to alright once you’ve done that then you can let go and just play alright so if you’d like to start bringing some of this play into your normal sexual activity I’m going to discuss a couple of things now.
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They’re very safe and they’re fun and titillating it’s okay for it to feel a little bit scary because you are pushing your boundaries here whenever you push your boundaries there’s a certain level of nervousness.
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That’s okay just go as far as you feel comfortable with so today I’m going to discuss a couple of restraints, we’re going to do a little bit of bondage the first thing I’m going to do is a wrist band okay this is a very useful little trick that anyone can do so start by getting some rope.
It’s got to be a nice soft rope from the hardware store or go to a sex shop and get some of the professional stuff it comes in pretty colours double it over put it around the wrist put the Rope through the loop always keep your fingers underneath so it doesn’t get too tight we want this to be pleasurable for our partner now loop around twice then put the final string under all of it.
Create another loop and then simply put this one through and here you have a quite effective restraint there are all sorts of things you can do here such as tie your partner up so that he’s under your total control.
Another one that I’d like to tell you about is a full-body bind it sounds a bit scary but it’s not really I’ll show you why at the end so we need to stand up for this one, so for this bind, you need a long piece of rope that’s got a fixed loop in one end now let’s zoom in the position and the way you do it if you make a loop through the first loop then bring the rope around the opposite direction and make another loop go back in the opposite direction and again make a loop.
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Backwards loop back again loops you see how nicely it is becoming and with a final loop just tie it in a simple Slipknot and see if your trust toy is ready to play with whether it’s for pain or pleasure and when you’re finished just let go.
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