Bdsm Rules

The Bdsm Rules for Dominant and Submissive

BDSM and female domination, for those who are into the scene, is a fantastic arena to participate in. Whether you are a Dominant or submissive, there is a lot of fun and enjoyment to be had by all parties.

However, due to the activities and not only the physical but also the mental nature of what goes on it is also a world fraught with pitfalls and dangers.

Click here for live cam chat rooms

To an outsider or a vanilla person looking in it may just look like absolute chaos reigns environment with the poor submissive being beaten, tortured, humiliated and abused while the Mistress just does whatever comes into her head and the sub has to accept it all without question but for those who are more in the know and actively participate or understand the concept, this is far from the case.

We try to keep our site femdomcamshows.com up to date with real information and guidelines for all in the BDSM Arena

Due to its complex nature and the way it flows, female domination needs to respected and treated with care. There is so much that can go wrong that you can not just dive straight into a session or scene and expect it to at best, flow smoothly and, at worst, end up with broken trust or damaged individuals.

You may also enjoy 20 kinky roleplays for cam to cam sex

It can really be a minefield if you are not careful. It is why, as a submissive, great care must be taken to select the right Mistress to serve.

If you subject yourself to a Dominatrix who doesn’t know what she is doing or even worse, one who thinks all you need to do is call a guy a loser, whip his balls and act like a man-hating ball buster, then you are going to be severely disappointed or even worse, damaged emotionally, physically or mentally.

Likewise, a Dominatrix who accepts a slave who does not fully commit resists or wants to fight back will cause her to lose momentum and be unsure of how to proceed which might cause an irreparable break in trust.

So you see, everyone needs to know where they stand and what the ground rules are.

Now that being said, the rules for the main part need to be set out before each session because every session will be different depending on the slave and Dommes limits and do’s and don’ts.

Everybody has different limits so a set of rules for a femdom session do not exist anywhere because no two sessions will ever be the same.

you can also check out our BDSM 101 page – For lists to more BDSM related tutorials, methods and ideas

However, there are certain rules that apply to every single session, and which should be adhered to and respected in order to ensure the safety and enjoyment of all participants.

BDSM RULES – The List, Guidelines

1 – Always have a safe word. This is vital. The submissive especially need to be able to stop the session and just saying stop can be confusing.

How is she to know if you really want to stop? She might keep going, thinking you saying stop is part of the act. It should be something that would never be used normally.

“red” is the most common choice but anything bizarre will do so that as a sub, you can still beg her to stop but enjoy her continuing, and likewise, she can hear you plead but keep going, confident you are still enjoying it.

Some Dommes have on their profile that they don’t agree with safe words or don’t use them. Best advice? Don’t even contact her because she doesn’t know what she is doing. At best she is an amateur and at worst she is dangerous. Always agree a safe word beforehand.

2 – Use “RACK”. RACK stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink and is the anacronym used for hard play, such as when using ropes or doing breath play for example. When an activity is dangerous and risky, both parties need to be aware of the risk and assess the dangers BEFORE commencing the session to ensure the safety of the submissives

3 – Use “SSC” which stands for Safe, Sane, Consensual. It basically means you are both aware of the activities you are going to perform, you are both clear-headed and not under the influence of drugs or alcohol and that you are both consenting adults agreeing to be abused or to abuse

4 – Respect each other’s limits. It can’t be stressed enough how vital this is. Limits are there for a reason and should be made clear before the session begins.

Pushing right to the edge of them is fine and exciting but they should never be broken or gone beyond. Some Dominas have “I will push beyond your boundaries and limits”. Steer clear. YOU set the limits. If you want to push beyond your boundaries, you both discuss what that will entail BEFORE you start. Any Mistress who decides to do it during a session without your consent isn’t a real Dominatrix

sissy caned

5 – Be aware of the difference between fantasy and reality. What makes for a great fantasy and huge turn on talking about it does not mean it will transfer perfectly over to reality. A sub may talk about a fantasy of being forced to suck the bulls dick in a cuckold fantasy but that doesn’t mean he actually wants you to shove your lovers’ cock in his mouth.

Likewise, a female sub may fantasise about being a sex slave tied in a bent-over position to be used and fucked while she is gagged but that doesn’t mean you can tie her up like that and invite men over to use her. Fantasy and reality are vastly different

6 – Be wary of doing things in a session not discussed in advance. Similar to the above but slightly less damaging if done. For example, a sub and a Domme may play around with threats of anal.

The Domme may wear a strap on and tap it on his arse and threaten to fuck him with it. However, he may respond enthusiastically but this does not mean he can just be screwed with it. See rule number 4.

His limit might be actually getting taken up the arse, so be cautious in thinking the sub is hinting or wants it against what is part of the fantasy scenario

slave caged

7 – Respect each other. The submissive should always respect the Dominant, that goes without saying, but out with the sub/Dom relationship, as equals you should always respect each other as well so that you can both relax and be comfortable and confident with each other

8 – Be cautious using tools or props you are new too. There are a lot of fun and exciting props and BDSM sex toys out there. Far too many to mention but as fun, as they are, if used wrongly or not treated with the care you can do long term damage.

Always start off slow and steady when using new toys, especially electrics on the cock and balls. Don’t just wire it up and crank the power up full. Take it easy

slave suspended

9 – Be sure to have appropriate aftercare following a session. A submissive has been beaten, called names, abused, humiliated and degraded for the past hour. Likewise, she has been abusing and torturing another human being.

After the session is over it is important you both discuss how it went, what you enjoyed, didn’t enjoy and what you will change next time.

10- Never, EVER, meet someone you don’t know in private for the first time. This is safety 101. Always meet in public, to begin with, or at least with other people around.

 The Bdsm Rules For Submissives

So those are the 10 basic rules for safe play in female domination for all parties but as a submissive, you have an additional set of rules that must be followed.

You can’t just submit to her abuse or torture and think that is all that is required. There are certain rules for you to follow that ensure both of you are comfortable and confident to express and explore yourselves in your session

1 – Always use her correct and chosen moniker. Whether it is Mistress, Goddess or Queen, she decides it, you don’t. A Teenage Dominatrix will usually be called Princess and mature femdom Mistresses will prefer to be called Lady but it depends on the Dominatrix what she wants to be called

2 – Never question her orders. Unless you don’t understand what she has asked of you, you should follow her orders and do exactly as you are told. She owns you. You are hers. If she tells you to do something, she has a reason. You just don’t need to know what it is

3 – Never backchat. As with number 2, she decides what you will do for her and if she wants to call you a fat loser or a tiny dick faggot that is up to her. You don’t answer back, likewise, you accept your caning or whipping or face slapping and you do not answer her back. Obviously, this rule does not apply if you are a brat Dom where backchat and misbehaviour are part of the scenario but this should be agreed beforehand (See rule 6 of the BDSM rules section above)

4 – Never touch her without permission. This goes without saying but some subs are not really, proper subs and still think with their cocks. Likewise, some subs overstep the boundary when asked to do one task and take it too far. Foot worship is the best example to use. If she tells you to kiss her feet, then kiss her feet.

Do NOT hold her calf unless you ask or she says you can. If she tells you to kiss her shoes, don’t decide to kiss her foot or work your way up her leg. At best you will get caned for insubordination. At worst you will cause her to end the session because you made her uncomfortable

5 – Do not ever reveal her identity or what she does. Whether she is a professional Dominatrix, a femdom webcams Domme or she is your wife/GF who dominates you, do NOT tell anyone about her.

If she wants people to know that is her choice, not yours. There is a stigma attached to BDSM work and to many vanilla people don’t understand it and assume it is sex work so you don’t reveal what the two of you get up too

6 – Always use the safe word if you need too. This is vitally important. If you feel uncomfortable or the pain is too much, use the agreed safeword (see rule 1 of BDSM rules above).

She will not be angry or disappointed you used it and will stop what she is doing immediately. You must never carry on with something you don’t like to avoid upsetting her. In truth, if she is a good Dominant she will want you to use it if you need to.

She will be able to relax and let go during a session much better if she knows you will stop her if it gets too much. If she thinks you are only tolerating it but are not enjoying it then it will affect her ability to do her job properly. You may also want to read our article on how to be a good submissive

 

So there you have the most basic ground rules for any BDSM and female domination session.

Whilst the rules contained for an individual session will always vary and should be set out and agreed on before you begin, the above rules should always be respected and adhered too to ensure safe and enjoyable play by all parties.

Whether you are in a BDSM relationship, going for a real-time domination session or using live femdom cams to be dominated, if you adhere to these rules, and only use a Mistress who adheres to them at all times, then your journey with female domination will be safe and enjoyable.

live webcam chats click here 

How to be a sissy slut – Rules and ideas