Bdsm Facts What Is It All About

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Bdsm Facts that are good to know

Information that you really need to know about BDSM, while the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise definitely sparked an interest in BDSM most BDSM experts agree it’s not really a healthy or realistic depiction and that’s because the relationship between the main characters is often breaching consent, it often includes pressuring and there are many elements of it which could be considered abusive.

Now if a stranger ever approaches you as does happens in the first movie and pressures you into signing a contract to do with your sex life that should let off a red flag and you should definitely not go along with it.

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Many people who are regular practitioners of BDSM attend weekly meetings know where the partier online forums and get-togethers where they discuss different ways and new techniques different toys and elements of being in the BDSM community.

To me, this is awesome because it means if you’re thinking of exploring BDSM but you’re not quite sure about it there is an amazing support network out there who can give you lots of advice and point you in the right direction.

There are lots of lingoes that you need to learn as you get more into BDSM some of the most common terms are sub and Dominatrix, which stand for submissive and dominant and these are two of the most commonly practised roles in the BDSM community.

Learn about BDSM impact play — what does it mean?

There are also tops and bottoms which are similar to subs and dommes but tend to be a bit more inclusive particularly towards people who identify as LGBTQ.

Another important acronym in the BDSM community is SSC and that stands for safe sane and consensual this is pretty much the pillar upon which all BDSM practices are built and if you don’t abide by these practices and you’re in a BDSM forum or group or even a BDSM dungeon, chances are you’ll be asked to leave.

BDSM isn’t just about what happens when you’re having sex a huge and really important element of BDSM is actually the pre and post-care processes that’s because really successful practices are built upon clear communication and establishing of boundaries and consent before you actually go ahead and then post-care which allows you to debrief with your partner to check in with them and make sure they’re feeling comfortable, and ok with the experience and to see if they have any feedback which can help you for the next time.

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Another big misconception about BDSM is that it’s something that happens during sex, but in fact, many people who practise it don’t always have sex because it’s essentially about an exploration of power dynamics.

There are many other ways to practice it outside of having sex, for example, one partner might wear a certain outfit or a certain colour that signals to the other partner that they can dominate them or must submit to them potentially when they’re in a public place this is a private agreement between the two people and although it’s not sexual in and of itself it can be incredibly sexually arousing for many people.

The next huge misconception about BDSM relationships is the idea that the submissive person is essentially powerless, now while it might look and maybe even feel this way nothing could be further from the truth.

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In actual fact, it’s the submissive who has the ultimate say and control and that’s because the submissive will usually have a safe word that they can use at any stage to call a stop to whatever is going on.

It is ultimately the submissive that decides what kind of scenarios are going to be played out in the pre-k discussion.

While we often joke about the use of safewords in BDSM play in popular culture the reality is they are a really big deal in the community and that’s because they’re really important particularly in C and C play.

What Does C& C Stand for in BDSM?

C and C stands for consensual no consent which is quite a popular BDSM practice and that involves things like rape fantasies or any kind of scenario in which one person is being overpowered by another person but essentially with their consent.

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It’s an agreement that’s made before the sex even begins because the person is probably going to be saying things like no and stop and I don’t want it when really they mean yes and keep going and I love it.

this safe word is usually something really unique that you wouldn’t hear in the bedroom like pineapple or artichokes and that is so it’s easily recognizable and as soon as either person says that word the play will immediately stop.

CHECK OUT OUR PUNISHMENTS FOR SUBMISSIVES

Bdsm Can Sound like a lot of fun and games

Now BDSM might seem like fun and games and that it definitely can be, however it actually requires a lot of research.

It’s not a good idea to just go online to buy a whole bunch of BDSM sex toys and start diving into the deep end.

You need to understand about different types of restraints, how tightly those restraints can be secured on you or your partner, what materials are going to be safe to use on your skin, and you want to have a real understanding of any of the potential risks involved, In what you’re going to do before you go ahead and do it.

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Most people think of BDSM and they think of whips chains and handcuffs but for many people, BDSM doesn’t involve any of those things.

The main idea of BDSM comes from a sense of power play and that can be explored without any sex toys or tools whatsoever, in fact, it might be a very subtle form of dominance that just happens with someone having to ask their partner when they can do everyday functions, like visiting the restroom or make themself a sandwich while that might sound severe for some people for others that can be incredibly arousing.

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The reason it’s so arousing to so many people is that in giving up control to someone else there can be a sense of freedom to it which can be quiet nice.

BDSM isn’t just something that goes on between two people if you want it to be it can be a group activity there are plenty of and parties and dungeons if you start doing a bit of googling online.

I highly recommend checking these things out even if you attend simply as a voyeur and don’t actually actively participate in the group activity it’s a great way for you to dip your toe into the water of BDSM and see if it’s something that’s right for you.

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Just Because you like BDSM this does not mean you must have kinky sex every time

People who practice BDSM don’t put on a full latex suit and get out the whips and chains and enact a scene every time they have sex just because you participate in the BDSM community does not mean that you always have kinky sex.

Nor should it have to mean that anyone who is into BDSM must be really screwed up in the head, that is a very damaging and completely untrue myth that has been around for a long time.

To be honest with you it wasn’t really helped by the Fifty Shades of Grey movie which kind of made Christian Grey the main character who practices so-called BDSM was made out to be Someone who was very disturbed and had a very traumatic past.

What you’ll actually find in the community is that its people from all walks of life it’s older people it’s younger people it’s people from all races religions and economic backgrounds there is not a one-size-fits-all for the BDSM community.

Saying that someone who participates in a particular type of sex is somehow damaged is a really problematic and frankly very insulting thing to say

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There was actually a study conducted into the brains of people who regularly practice BDSM and they were compared against the brains of people who regularly practised what you would say more vanilla mainstream kind of sexual practices and what it found was that the brains of the people who regularly practice BDSM were actually a little bit healthier.

Now this study was not meant to shame anyone’s intelligence what it was meant to do was highlight the fact that you can have a very healthy brain and be very educated and intelligent and still be into sadism and masochism.

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So I hope from reading these facts you’ve had your mind opened a little bit about BDSM and maybe you’re a little bit curious now to give it a go share in the comments with me.

I would love to know if anything I’ve shared you today has really blown your mind and if you’re curious to give it a go or maybe if you already have and can share some tips with the rest of us

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