How To Be A Good SUB

Ideas for Submissives

One of the biggest dilemmas to face as a submissive is how to be a good sub. There are so many ways to serve a superior female that many subs are unsure of how to go about it, not to mention that all sorts of different Mistresses will require different things from their subordinates.

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Many people, both vanilla and non-experienced subs, think it’s a case of just being bent over and spanked, but this could not be further from reality. Thankfully, if you are a novice looking to dip your toe into BDSM and female domination, help is at hand.

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First Rule of being a submissive

One of the first things you need to understand about being a sub is that it is not just a simple case of letting a Domme do what they want to you.

To be effective, though, you must be utterly devoted to your willingness to hand over complete control of your safety and well-being to your Mistress. That is vastly different from just allowing anything to happen.

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You must be prepared to “roll with the punches”. Of course, beforehand, you will have laid out ground rules and limits, but both of you must be prepared for the shift in power and the responsibility that comes with it. It’s a two-way street, and both parties must assume responsibility for safe play.

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Second Idea & Task to serve Mistress

The second thing is to ensure you find a Dominant who is “into” the same things as you. Although sub/Dom is about giving up control, the basics are that you both enjoy the time together.

So if you like anal play and foot worship, it is a bit off if she is going for small penis humiliation. Communication is key, and ensuring you are a good match is vital.


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If you have a Domina who is enjoying what she is doing and what she is doing is an activity of femdom that you enjoy, then it makes it far easier for you to be an effective slave.

If you are not into feminization, then you are going to resist if she tries to make you wear panties and a dress which by default does not make you a good slave.

Once you have these two basics in place,

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So how do you become a better submissive to your Dominant superior?

The first act is obvious. Obedience. To be effective as a subordinate, you must do as you are told. Obey her commands without question, no matter how humiliating or degrading they may be.

To be a good slave, you should strive always to do as you are told and follow commands to the letter. Of course, this doesn’t apply if you are both practising brat-dom, where you deliberately act out, so the Domina has to punish and correct you.


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The second act is, for want of a better phrase, planning. As a slave, your task is to make your Domina’s life easier. It is to wait on her, serve her and prevent her from sullying herself with life’s mediocre tasks and one thing she shouldn’t have to do is lead you by the hand.

If she comes in from a hard day at the office, she shouldn’t have to tell you to massage her feet. If it is lunchtime, you should have it prepared for her. If she usually likes her ass kissed, you should know her body language, and she shouldn’t have to tell you.

Anticipating what she wants and acting accordingly are key elements to making a good sub.
Thirdly, a trait required from a submissive is the ability to learn. While all acts are based on what you both want to do, part of your duty as a sub is to adapt to any extras your Domina phone sex wishes to the add-in.

For example, if you are doing forced feminization and wearing panties, she may wish you o dress further in a skirt or even have make-up put on. You should at least be willing to try this to please her.

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A fourth attribute to making a good sub is the acceptance of punishment. No one is perfect, and as a slave, you will mess up from time to time. Her coffee is too hot or too cold; your oral skills fail to get her off; your foot massage is no good; your cleaning isn’t up to scratch or any other errors.

It happens, but you should be prepared to face the consequences when it does. To be a good slave, you should accept your fate and not complain, moan or whine, no matter how hard done by you feel. You should appreciate and respect that your Mistress has deemed you to have fallen short, accept your punishment, and try to learn from the experience.

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This list is by no means exhaustive. The requirements of a good submissive are never-ending, and continuing to learn and please your superior female owner is rule 1 of your journey into submission. It is important to note, however, that it is not your job as a sub to be a doormat. There is a clear line between consensual Domination and abuse.

Abuse has no safeword and is not a proper BDSM or femdom scenario. You, as the submissive, are effectively giving your submission to the Dominant, which should be respected.

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Any Dom who takes that gift from you and abuses it is not a Dominant; they are an abuser.

A true Dominant will appreciate the gift you give them and treat it accordingly. Finding a Domina like this is half the battle to becoming a proper sub.
Enjoy, and play safe. Always be willing to earn and try new things.

Take a read at how to be a sissy. – Sissy Perfection